Ashani
Ewok · Pirate · Level 3
Identity
Ability scores
Saving throws
Skills
Weapons
| Name | Attack | Damage | Range |
|---|---|---|---|
| ●Sling | +5 | 1d4 Bludgeoning | 50 ft |
| ●Energy Ball | +5 | 1d10 Energy | 50 ft |
| ●Unarmed Strike | +1 | 1 -1 bludgeoning | — |
Languages
Inventory
- Computer Spike +1 · 1 kg
- Medpac I · 0.5 kg
- Sling · 0.3 kg
- Energy Ball · 0.25 kg
- Half-Vest · 2 kg
- Universal Translator · 0.3 kg
Backstory
Ashani — The Galaxy's Most Wanted (For Reasons She Doesn't Fully Understand) Ewok | Age 22 | Professional Passenger Princess | Part-Time Criminal | Full-Time Problem For twenty-two years, Ashani had endured what she considered an almost offensively difficult existence on the forest moon of Endor. Yes, she was the daughter of a respected Ewok clan elder. Yes, her family enjoyed one of the nicest tree hollows in the village. And yes, she possessed a bead collection so extensive that other Ewoks occasionally questioned whether she had single-handedly destroyed the local decorative economy. But none of that changed the fact that she was living in a forest with absolutely no shopping, no glamorous nightlife, and an alarming shortage of attractive, wealthy men. Her father expected her to learn the responsibilities of leadership, contribute to the tribe, and eventually help protect their people. Ashani considered this an unreasonable amount of pressure to place on a girl who was literally just trying to exist. She had declared herself a princess years earlier, reasoning that her father was important, she was his daughter, and therefore the title was basically hereditary. Nobody had officially agreed with this assessment, but nobody had successfully stopped her either. Ironically, beneath her spoiled personality and catastrophic decision-making skills, Ashani was an exceptionally capable survivalist. She could climb trees, track prey, navigate dense forests, identify edible plants, and disappear into the undergrowth with an efficiency that would impress seasoned military scouts. She simply considered these abilities deeply embarrassing and preferred to describe herself as an entrepreneur. When Imperial operations expanded across Endor, Ashani became fascinated with the unfamiliar technology and shiny equipment scattered throughout the forest. She began sneaking around Imperial installations, acquiring interesting objects that she insisted were abandoned, regardless of whether their previous owners agreed. Her greatest discovery was the severed head of a protocol droid, still partially functional despite having been separated from its body. The droid introduced himself as PR-4T, a sophisticated translation unit with a damaged processor and absolutely no desire to participate in whatever was about to happen. Ashani immediately renamed him Pookie, tied a sparkly rope around his head, and began dragging him through the forest like a small, deeply unfortunate dog. Pookie objected to this arrangement constantly, although his damaged translation circuits meant that his objections sometimes emerged as compliments, marriage proposals, or detailed descriptions of agricultural equipment. Ashani found him adorable. Pookie found existence increasingly difficult. Together, they formed what Ashani described as a beautiful friendship and what Pookie would have described, had his translator cooperated, as an ongoing hostage situation. Ashani's fascination with the wider galaxy eventually became impossible to contain. Through stolen glimpses of Imperial equipment, overheard conversations, and Pookie's intermittently accurate explanations, she learned of enormous cities, luxury starships, interplanetary trade, and entire civilizations where people apparently wore jewelry made from materials considerably more expensive than beads. She decided immediately that she had been born on the wrong planet. Her father strongly disagreed, reminding her that the galaxy was dangerous and that she had obligations to her tribe. Ashani responded that she was a grown woman, that his behavior was controlling, and that she needed space. Specifically, outer space. Eventually, she managed to secure passage off Endor aboard an independent vessel whose crew had made the unfortunate mistake of accepting her assistance navigating the forest. She proved genuinely useful, guiding them around dangerous terrain and helping them avoid Imperial patrols, then negotiated passage in exchange for her services. Whether the crew understood the terms of that negotiation remains unclear, as Pookie briefly malfunctioned and informed them that Ashani was offering three hundred kilograms of decorative fruit. Regardless, she got aboard, packed her favorite beads, a computer spike she barely understood, several questionable Imperial souvenirs, and a collection of family credit chips she considered an early inheritance. Her first destination was Coruscant, a world she imagined would finally provide the luxurious lifestyle she deserved. Unfortunately, Coruscant turned out to be a deeply traumatic experience. Everything was expensive. Nobody cared that she was a princess. Several establishments refused to admit her because they thought she was an escaped exotic pet. One particularly offensive shopkeeper attempted to sell her a collar. She purchased it anyway because it had rhinestones, but the principle was devastating. Worse, her money began disappearing at an alarming rate, largely because Ashani had never been required to understand budgeting, exchange rates, or the concept of not purchasing every attractive object within reach. Pookie repeatedly attempted to explain basic financial responsibility, but she dismissed his concerns as jealousy. Then, during an especially humiliating shopping excursion, Ashani heard someone describe Tatooine as an exotic desert world frequented by smugglers, wealthy crime lords, and mysterious travelers. She immediately envisioned luxurious desert resorts, handsome dangerous men, and exclusive underground establishments. The fact that the planet was also known for poverty, extreme heat, criminal violence, and an almost complete absence of luxury tourism somehow failed to register. Convinced that Tatooine was the perfect place to reinvent herself as a glamorous interplanetary socialite, Ashani purchased the cheapest available passage aboard an independent freight hauler called the *Wayward Dawn*. Pookie pointed out that the vessel appeared to be held together by industrial sealant, questionable engineering, and the crew's collective refusal to acknowledge structural problems. Ashani informed him that traveling economy was actually very chic and that he needed to stop being so negative. By 4 ABY, Ashani had officially become everything she had ever dreamed of: a galactic traveler, an independent woman, and the proud owner of a malfunctioning protocol droid head that she dragged through public spaces on a sparkly leash. Unfortunately, her glamorous new lifestyle currently involved sitting in the cramped passenger compartment of an aging freight hauler surrounded by cargo containers, unpleasant mechanical noises, and strangers who seemed deeply uninterested in hearing about her royal heritage. She had spent much of the journey complaining about the accommodations, attempting to accessorize Pookie with spare wiring, and asking the crew whether the ship offered complimentary beverages. It did not. She was also beginning to suspect that the other passengers were avoiding her, although she attributed this to jealousy rather than the fact that Pookie had accidentally informed several of them that she was seeking a wealthy husband with a terminal illness. Nevertheless, Ashani remained optimistic. Tatooine awaited; her future was undoubtedly fabulous, and surely nothing particularly terrible could happen aboard a civilian transport. Somewhere far away, unbeknownst to her, the Battle of Endor was beginning, and the galaxy stood on the edge of a historic transformation. Ashani, however, was considerably more concerned with whether the *Wayward Dawn* had a refund policy. Then the alarms started. The ship shuddered violently, the crew began shouting, and the unmistakable sounds of an attack echoed through the hull. Ashani immediately demanded to speak to the captain, insisting that this was completely unacceptable customer service. Pookie attempted to explain that the ship was under attack and that immediate evacuation was advisable, but his translation circuits malfunctioned halfway through, causing him to announce that Ashani was pregnant with the captain's child. She was still attempting to correct this misunderstanding when the order came to abandon ship. With absolutely no understanding of emergency evacuation procedures, Ashani grabbed her belongings, seized Pookie by his sparkly rope, and scrambled toward the nearest escape pod alongside five complete strangers. As the pod launched into space, she clutched her precious beads, stared in horror at the rapidly approaching jungle world of Rodia, and realized that her first great galactic vacation was going catastrophically wrong. She had spent twenty-two years trying to escape a forest, traveled across the galaxy in search of luxury, and was now hurtling toward another forest in a metal container full of people she didn't know. Pookie began calculating their probability of survival. Ashani screamed at him to shut up. Moments before impact, she had one final, devastating realization: she had paid actual money for this experience. And when the escape pod finally struck the jungles of Rodia, the galaxy's most unqualified princess was about to discover that the survival skills she'd spent her entire life pretending not to have were suddenly the only thing standing between six strangers and a very unpleasant death. Assuming, of course, that Pookie didn't accidentally declare war on the local wildlife first.
Roleplaying notes
The funniest version of Ashani is someone who is genuinely competent at certain things but catastrophically stupid at everything else. She's not pretending to be dumb. She's just operating on an entirely different set of priorities. Party discovers a bounty on her head - "Wait, that picture is SO unflattering." Someone threatens to kill her - "Okay, first of all, your tone?" Asked whether cargo is illegal - "I literally didn't pack it." Fails a perception check - "Sorry, I was looking at my reflection." Successfully hacks a terminal - "OMG, wait, I'm literally so smart." Party discusses battle strategy - "Okay, but what are we wearing?" Someone calls her a criminal - "That's actually such a negative way to describe an entrepreneur." Her father is mentioned - "Ugh. Don't even get me started. He's SO controlling." My favorite character detail: Ashani should have absolutely no understanding of how money works. She grew up as the clan elder's daughter with everything provided for her, so she thinks 5,000 credits is basically nothing, but will argue with a merchant for twenty minutes over being overcharged three credits for a bracelet. And the most important part? She should still be terrifyingly good with a sling. Nothing is funnier than a girl who can't understand a basic social interaction but can nail a moving stormtrooper in the forehead from fifty feet away. I also think she needs one signature phrase: "Okay, but, like, I'm literally just a girl." Usually said immediately after committing a war crime.